The Case of the Missing House Plants
by seven dragons
Summary: This story takes place somewhere in the early days of season 1. One by one, plants are disappearing from the sun room. Who is the culprit? Will Jean's prize begonia survive? No vegetation was harmed in the making of this story. (Lucien/Jean)
**Author's note: This story takes place somewhere in the early days of season 1, when Lucien and Jean are getting on each other's nerves, but neither seems willing to part ways. I have no idea if the plants I named are actually found in Australia. Except begonias. Content warning: Does not contain any smoochie scenes. My sincere apologies. :)**

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It had been a long day for Jean. Looking after Ballarat's least eligible bachelor was becoming tedious. First, Lucien had kept the whole house awake tearing around drunk, and left a mess of whiskey soaked medical receipts for her to deal with. Then he disappeared all morning, leaving Jean to make excuses to his patients. Finally he nearly bit her head off when she tried to schedule next week's patients. It was becoming increasingly obvious to her that things were not working out between them and one of them was going to have to leave. Jean prayed that it would be Lucien. She wondered how much a boat ticket to China cost. After an awkward silent lunch together, Jean retreated to the sun room for some peace.

She had been working there for some time before she noticed one of her plants was missing. She might not have noticed at all except that this wasn't any ornamental. It was her prize begonia. It had won third place at last year's Begonia Festival, the best she'd ever done. In the months since she had carefully tended it and it had only grown more beautiful. Jean felt she had a very good chance at second place next year. It was a baffling thing, but Jean decided that not knowing was better than inciting more drama at this point. She made a mental note to ask Mattie about it in the morning. Mattie had an observant eye, maybe she knew something.

The mystery was short lived. Jean found the begonia the following morning, proudly displayed on the window ledge of Lucien's surgery. He must have taken a liking to it and decided to brighten up the dreary little room. Jean smiled to herself. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

The next day her begonia had company. A scarlet geranium was sitting next to it on the window. The day after that, she noticed two small potted pansies she had recently bought were missing. She found them in the surgery too, next to the geranium. By the end of the week, seven plants in all were gone. The begonia, the geranium, and the two pansies were lined up in a neat row on the windowsill. A petunia was draped luxuriously over the edge of Lucien's desk, crowding out a salvia and some daisies. It would have been a pretty scene if it wasn't so odd. In the meantime, the sun room was starting to look sparse.

Jean didn't say anything at first. Lucien's behavior was erratic at the best of times. If hoarding plants was the worst thing he did that week, she would be ok with that. But after several days, she became concerned. The plants on the desk were not getting enough sunlight and the flowers were starting to fade. Her prize begonia was starting to wilt, despite watering it. The next time he was in the surgery, she decided to say something.

"You know it's hard to water these plants in here without making a mess," Jean said cheerfully. "I could take much better care of them in the sun room."

"That won't be necessary," Lucien replied casually. "I think most of them are going to die anyhow."

Jean just stared. Lucien continued.

"It's this case I'm working on. The murderer left footsteps in the grass outside the window, and where he stepped, the grass died." Lucien stood up and became more animated as he spoke. "Now I think, he got some sort of household cleaner on his shoes before he fled. It killed the grass. If I could just figure out what that was, it might help us catch him."

Lucien was gesturing enthusiastically now. "So what I have done is watered each of these chaps with a different cleaner. I'll know which cleaners might be candidates by seeing which plants die first."

Lucien looked up expectantly. Jean often offered feedback when he was on a case and he clearly expected her to say something helpful. She just stammered.

"But...my plants."

Lucien opened his mouth to speak. He was going to explain to her that actually, they were _his_ plants, in his sun room, but the look on Jean's face made him think it might be the last thing he ever said to anyone. Instead he just sat down and waved her off dismissively.

"Don't worry, I'm sure they'll grow back."

Jean stormed out of the room.

Over the next two days the plants in Lucien's office went into steep decline. The pansies were dead within hours. Lucien was pleased. The next day she found Lucien gleefully taking a soil sample from a dead geranium. He casually handed the plant to her and asked her to throw it in the trash. The daisy was found innocent of its crimes but without sun and care it was fading fast. Jean was beside herself. She could barely lift her eyes when she walked through the room. When half of the petunia dried up and fell to the floor late on the second day, Jean refused to clean it up. She pretended it wasn't there.

But the begonia declined slowly. Its magnificent pink blooms were now curled up and brown. The leaves, previously a verdant green, now drooped and faded. More fell off each day. Lucien hadn't even had the decency to kill it quickly.

Jean barely spoke at dinner. She served Lucien's plate with a thunk and the other's only slightly more gently. Lucien looked annoyed. Mattie and Danny spent most of dinner bickering. Danny had seen Mattie kissing her boyfriend in the park and was insistent that he could have them arrested under indecency laws. Jean finally had enough and silenced them sharply, pointedly wondering if she were the only adult at the table. Trying to recover some civility, Mattie politely asked how Jean's day had been. Jean forced a smile. "It was fine Mattie, thank you very much. Quiet. I had very little gardening to do, I don't have many plants left."

Lucien sighed in exasperation. "Honestly Jean, they're just plants! It's not like I was poisoning people!" He waved in the direction of the assembled diners. Jean got up in a huff and cleared the plates, with Lucien's only half finished. Lucien opened his mouth to protest but caught a dangerous look from Mattie and said nothing.

The next morning Lucien had patients. Jean maintained a coolly polite demeanor, which suited Lucien just fine, and the morning breezed by. Lucien saw his last patient to the door, wished them well, and returned to his office. When he stepped into the room he found Jean standing there, staring forlornly at her begonia. Its formerly lush pink flowers were all but gone, as were most of the leaves. The whole plant was drooping piteously. Jean held one hand to her mouth and looked like she might be suppressing a sob. Lucien cleared his throat. Realizing she wasn't alone Jean immediately regained her composure and forced an icy smile. "Yes?"

Lucien suddenly found himself too flustered to speak. He gaped at her for a minute and then clasped his hands together cheerfully. "So! That's it for the morning?"

"Yes." She looked embarrassed. "Until two. I'll make you some lunch." Jean briskly left the room.

Lucien was late for dinner, again. Danny and Mattie both had the night shift and Jean was growing impatient. She wondered why she bothered at all. She called his name twice and got no response. She went to the study intent on dragging him out but he wasn't there. She thought he might have gone to the club but his car was in the driveway and she hadn't heard him leave. She was about to give up when she heard his voice in sun room, swearing loudly.

Jean came in to see him fretting over two flower pots filled with soil. Next to them was her dying begonia. Lucien was sticking cuttings from the plant and even some individual leaves directly into the soil. He also appeared to have tried to shore up some of the drooping branches with wire. Jean wondered with alarm what he planned to do with the the roll of cellophane sitting on the table. It was a pathetic sight.

"Lucien what on earth are you doing!?"

Lucien looked up sheepishly from behind the begonia. He looked like a school boy who had broken a vase.

"I'm fixing your plant."

He looked back down hopelessly at his work. He had no idea what he was doing. Jean sighed and her voice softened.

"Here. Let me show you how to do that."


End file.
